August 1st, 2009

Moose With Mug

Snuggies, The Gift That Keeps Giving

Seriously, as dementedly awesome as the ads for Snuggies were at the beginning of the year, they pale in comparison to the follow up for Snuggies: Snuggie for Dogs. I would have just loved to be in the meeting where this product got green-lighted.

Snuggie CEO: Okay, we tapped out the American market on Snuggies. What can we do to increase sales again?
Snuggie Creator: Fuck if I know. Jesus, those damn thing sold better than I ever could have imagined. What else do you want from me?
Snuggie Marketing Head: We can always test the European market.
Snuggie CEO: Sorry, they're a little too colorful for the Druid crowd. Can you imagine them wearing Snuggies at Stonehenge during the next Solstice? I don't think so.
Marketing Head: Surely there's a deranged cult out there that we can con into wearing them. What about the Scientologists?
CEO: Nah, too many of them live in Clearwater, FL -- it's too warm for our product down there. Besides, there are some really bat-shit crazy mother fuckers running that joint. I think we're all better off staying as far away from them as possible.
Creator: How about going after crazy, obsessive dog owners?
Marketing Head: That's brilliant! Some of those people will buy anything for their dogs. It's the gift that keeps giving. Hey, and let's make sure that the ads show the owners and their dogs wearing Snuggies together. It'll be adorable!
Creator: Hey -- hold up there. I was kidding.
CEO: Yes, it is brilliant. There are a lot of people who don't realize that their dogs are kept plenty warm enough by their fur coats. These people are easy pickings. Get somebody on this right away.
Marketing Head: And while we're at it, let's reach out to the Dali Lama. We can tell him that we can make Snuggies in that shade of red he loves so much. We might even get our first celebrity endorsement.
Creator: {sotto voice} Dear God, what have I wrought upon the world.
CEO: Another great idea! Have our people contact the Dali's people ASAP. Anything else? {silence from room} Meeting adjourned.

Sure, laugh now. It's just the beginning of world domination for Snuggie, Inc.

Moose News

Typing Away

I'm actually hard at work on the entry I promised two weeks ago, and will certainly have it posted online before the end of the weekend. It's currently clocking in at 1,400 words, which already makes it the longest thing I've written since Some Fantastic went on hiatus a year ago. I'm hoping to make this some sort of springboard into getting back into writing on a regular basis, but we'll just have to see how that pans out. I still have a number of things in my life that require more attention and time than I feel like I can truly give, and I don't know how feasible it will be for me to set aside time for this sort of thing. Nonetheless, it's felt good to hammer away on this piece, and I'm bound and determined to get it finished this weekend, no matter what.

Edit to Add, 3:55 PM: Just finished my first finished draft (approximately 1,600 words). Will put is aside for another 24 hours or so and then come back to it for final revisions and edits.
Winking Moose

Not Gonna Do It

23 years after the song came out, I finally found out how to "Wang Chung tonight."

I'm not ever going to do it -- it's just wrong.
  • Current Music
    "Everybody Have Fun Tonight," Wang Chung