The Talking Moose (thetalkingmoose) wrote,
The Talking Moose

Snuggies, The Gift That Keeps Giving

Seriously, as dementedly awesome as the ads for Snuggies were at the beginning of the year, they pale in comparison to the follow up for Snuggies: Snuggie for Dogs. I would have just loved to be in the meeting where this product got green-lighted.

Snuggie CEO: Okay, we tapped out the American market on Snuggies. What can we do to increase sales again?
Snuggie Creator: Fuck if I know. Jesus, those damn thing sold better than I ever could have imagined. What else do you want from me?
Snuggie Marketing Head: We can always test the European market.
Snuggie CEO: Sorry, they're a little too colorful for the Druid crowd. Can you imagine them wearing Snuggies at Stonehenge during the next Solstice? I don't think so.
Marketing Head: Surely there's a deranged cult out there that we can con into wearing them. What about the Scientologists?
CEO: Nah, too many of them live in Clearwater, FL -- it's too warm for our product down there. Besides, there are some really bat-shit crazy mother fuckers running that joint. I think we're all better off staying as far away from them as possible.
Creator: How about going after crazy, obsessive dog owners?
Marketing Head: That's brilliant! Some of those people will buy anything for their dogs. It's the gift that keeps giving. Hey, and let's make sure that the ads show the owners and their dogs wearing Snuggies together. It'll be adorable!
Creator: Hey -- hold up there. I was kidding.
CEO: Yes, it is brilliant. There are a lot of people who don't realize that their dogs are kept plenty warm enough by their fur coats. These people are easy pickings. Get somebody on this right away.
Marketing Head: And while we're at it, let's reach out to the Dali Lama. We can tell him that we can make Snuggies in that shade of red he loves so much. We might even get our first celebrity endorsement.
Creator: {sotto voice} Dear God, what have I wrought upon the world.
CEO: Another great idea! Have our people contact the Dali's people ASAP. Anything else? {silence from room} Meeting adjourned.

Sure, laugh now. It's just the beginning of world domination for Snuggie, Inc.


  • New Home Reminder

    Just realized that I haven't been providing links to entries over at my new online home. Here are some of the posts that I've written since…

  • New Online Home

    In response to the new terms and conditions, I am moving my incredibly inconsistent blogging to a new home on Wordpress: The Talking Moose. This…

  • Weekly Weigh-In, Week #13 -- Special Edition

    Loss since last weigh-in (3/21): 0.8 lb 2017 Cumulative loss: 16.6 lb Pounds from goal: 6.8 lb On one hand, I should be happy with these numbers.…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.